munsterina

She Demands For A Love Letter! ;)

9/10/2012 11:59:00 PM

Reflection

5/22/2012 12:53:00 AM

Taken in Miri Esplanade Beach @ 19/5

Before i start writing this post, i actually browsed through all the photos taken so far in this month. If you're curious about the quantity, it's 967 and no this is not a random number. I even used a calculator to get the number right. Haha vain. Anyway. the past weekends might just be an ordinary one (ordinary = assignments and quizzes and wasting time) if i didn't sign up for this AIESEC LDS seminar - a conference between UKM and Curtin students. Games, talks, lectures, persuasion, dances and new friends. Three days and it changes my perception in life. It made me reflect on what i am today.

What I lack of? Confidence. I always tend to avoid eye contact whenever i'm speaking to a crowd. I'll be that girl who will stare at the ceiling and rap whatever blabbering stuff she's supposed to. And then hurriedly she'll bow and run away from the spotlight. She can't even get her head clear when she's facing the crowd; every sentence and word are scattered and disorganized, and believe me, it's unbearable.

So, there is this sharing session where people volunteer to go up the stage and umm, practically, share. 1, 2, 3, 4... 9. The outspoken one, the hyper girl, the lyke-a-boss brother, the loud feilou, the chio girl. One by one they share what they've learn in the conference and finally they are telling me, this is your last chance. You opportunity. Your platform. I took a deep breath and raised my hand high in a speed of light. I think i even closed my eyes. And sprained my arm. But anyway, turns out, i am the last person going up there and talk.

Why i am sharing this is because i wanna tell you that with this simple act, I have gain the courage to change. Change but be the same you. I was hesitant at first, but seeing sooo many people have done that, i am like, why not? All these time, how narrow minded i am for thinking that i simply don't like being the center of attention and so i avoid stages and refuse to stand up and voice out. I was rather judgmental for also thinking those who opt for the limelight are attention seeker. Ironically, I also take them as the bravado for their humongous guts. I am wrong.

You have enemies? Good. That means you've stood up for something in your life.

Winston Churchill (1874 - 1965)

It takes a lot of effort and guts to be the first one to stand up. That person is the leader. But the leader needs to be easy to follow and must not back down in whatever circumstances. Then there will be the first follower. The first follower leads the second and the second leads the third. Without you realizing, everybody is in fact, the leader. It might be awkward at first, being the 'weirdo' and doing something people are not, but once everybody joins in, it won't be. The key is don't ever change yourself to fit in. Be you.

And so, that's practically what I had summed up from the seminar. Here's a video (link) they shared. It really inspires me.

///

Never underestimate yourself. Your will is your strongest weapon.

I am learning. Final is 2 weeks away and I'll start by not repeating my last minute tragedy again. Cheers. By the way, the 3/967 pictures above are unrelated to this statement. Teehee. I'll be back with hot guys soon.

PS: Why the ladies nowadays keep demanding hawt guys. Why. Y U NO APPEAR IN MY LIFE. #vain

I don't know why I always write long essay

5/04/2012 11:48:00 PM

So, I don't know why but recently, people around me keep updating their blog, for WHICH, makes me feel the heat and pressure of not updating your blog as regularly as them. So, i biatchyly decided to write a not short not long paragraphs of words in order to make myself feel better.

Anyway. You know, I always label my albums in my lappie by month name + description. For example: January Joy, February Fab, March March!, April Already and so on. And guess what. This month my album is actually named as May Mayhem. Yeahhh, i know i'm so creative right, but save your praise just yet, that's not the point. The point is, why university life so hectic...

Deadlines, weekly submission, presentations, group report, individual reports, lab reports and more coming soon. You practically stick to your chair nearly all day except when you're heading to lectures and events. True story. Ugh, worse than secondary school. In the first place, I wonder who spread the rumor saying university life is like honey moon during my high school years. Obviously it's a big fat lie. :(

This is my room, 306.

The state of condition in the picture above does not even come close to the actual state it is in right now.

And my room OMG! No comment. And my piling laundry. Seriously no comment. And my white tiled floor which is full of strand of hairs. Better no comment. And my table OMGAGAA. Can't even comment. And my foods and titbits and bags of food. Comment: Shouldn't put so near my table, keep grabbing them whenever I got the chance, ish! Which, made me fatter by 1kg in 2 weeks time. Digitally proven by the weighing scale of my new roomie. That means no exercise, only more fat and lazy bones ugh.

I'm not complaining though. I'm just, procrastinating. For the sake of throwing words onto my blog. heh. More presentable you know. (whuteva that means) And I'm tired of writing formal language in my reports. "The Munsterina website is officially constructed in year 2011 following the latest trend of blogging from the younger generation these days." Imagine a news reporter voice from a radio; passive and monotone and *yawn. I can't talk like that for more than 3 minutes, which is bad, sigh. The more for me to worry about for my future position as a 'vice-leader' of the BOD and also yikes, my oral presentation.

Very excited. And looking forward. I mean just in the past few weeks I'd already dress up so many times for different events that i think i'm not so shy with skirts and dresses anymore. anyway, here's a sneak peak of what I'm gonna wear. If you're curious of course ;)

The top is bought recently in Parkson. And the shoe, oh the shoeeee, the heels is short enough for tall people like me, so yep, no complaint. Thank you apa! :D The pencil skirt is bought in Singapore just last December. Sui bo? If only i can wear my cons which are expiring in June 2012. *beechslap. Waste money. :(

On a side note, I'm also very the excited about tomorrow. Guess what guess what guess what! Ella from SHE is getting married tomorrow. Sob, so happy for her. And i thought she'll be forever alone (sorry!), guess it's just me. Anyway, can't wait for the videos and more SHE appearance and the coming album already! And that's why i want to take this opportunity and put up their beautiful pics here. I mean, beautiful pic (singular).

S.H.E @ 2010

I'll try not to write so much next time. Pictures, pictures. And more gorgeous guys next time, promise. Might be talking about Avengers afterall, since it's the hyped ;) besides, i so have something to share, if i still remember the details until then of course. Regarding the boys, and a little bit of a girl. So summary?

YAY, I FEEL MUCH BETTER NOW. A LOAD OFF MY CHEST! AND YES I AM SHOUTING!!!!

This is so lame. darn it. #kthxbye :\

Daylight

4/30/2012 08:30:00 PM

This morning, I was doing the Leo Garden thingy, the usual stuff: painting names, putting the Leo Garden signboard, planting plants etc. The signboard, its supposed to be attached to a wood with a wire i brought along but unfortunately, i forgot to bring my scissors. I looked around. From far, a nursery worker was working on the garden. The thin worker is slightly taller than me, he wears an oversize crumpled cap and a shirt hanging loosely on him. He was squatting on a corner, replanting the ixora that i'd planted a week ago. His expertise, mud-stained boots and weather worn hands led me to assume he's older than me. So i used my very the poor Malay language to ask him for a scissor by calling him "Encik". Nope. No reaction at first call. I raised my voice and called him again, this time walking towards his direction with my arms raised. Finally.

He turned around. His face is surprisingly young and innocent. Must be his bugs bunny teeth. Anyway. He looks like a local to me with his very tan skin which assembles the tribal people in Borneo. We exchanged a brief conversation, with me stammering on every sentences due to my poor verbal Malay. Ugh. So he went around and looked for scissors for me. And he came back with a parang. I know right. But we continued on with the wiring task. He stood there and watched awhile and offered his help which is so nice of him. Anyway that's not the point. In fact the point comes now.

He started talking in Malay. I kinda remained silent until he starts asking questions. So i used my Maglish to answer his questions. And from the convo, i'm very the sipek surprised and shocked. He's freaking 19 years old and he's omaigagaly one year younger than me. And he told me he is studying 1st year 1st sem back in Indonesia like me until... Until what? I remembered clearly. His face turned grim when he hesitantly told me he's been here in M'sia as a garden worker for 3 months now. His tone was low and emotional. And that makes me wonder. He gave up his study just to be here? He prefer to 24/7-ly stay under the sun when he has a university to attend back in his home? No it doesn't make sense. He willingly came here? Or is it life, being mean to him?

I feel bad for him so i stopped myself from prying further with questions. ok, the real reason is i don't know how to phrase my question in Malay. Anyway. My point is, at that one moment and brief exchange of conversation with a stranger (yeah, i didn't even get his name.), I realized that i was given a lot of things compared to him.

Sometimes, we procrastinate too much and fail to appreciate what we are blessed with. We are given the opportunity to live in a comfortable environment. Knowledge, family, health, security. No hunger, or Hunger Games. Or war. Or anything that comes to your mind which you rather not to be with.

“Just because some of us can read and write and do a little math, that doesn't mean we deserve to conquer the universe."
Kurt Vonnegut

I see this everyday around 6.27pm.

To realize how lucky you are. How lucky you have been. And you think you deserved it. And you simply disregard it as if its part of the package to be born in a material world. And neglect your parent's sweat and blood to provide you shelter, warmth and love?

We are young. We are naive. But always look around you and DON'T assume you deserve these. Cherish them. Before it's too late.

Lurve Letter

4/16/2012 02:39:00 PM

Dear Tiara

,

Hello. It's been awhile since we last talked. Hmm, when was it again, oh! It's last Saturday, 7th of April. And haha

, we talked about craps and bullshits again. Anyway. The reason I'm writing this letter

to you is because you requested for it (DUH.) so here I am, writing love letter to you. So how's life my dear bff? Any hot guys lurking around you

? Any interesting slash embarrassing story to share with me? ;) Where are you heading to in 4 months time? Will you still be in Penang or somewhere on earth?

Ahh, life. Life always brings two different people to meet and then inevitably separates them. That's life

. What matters is how these two people maintain their relationship and keep in touch.

Hint my dear bff. KEEP IN TOUCH! I don't want us to become strangers one day. And fyi, you're still the oldest friend I ever had. Old, old, old as in very old like from year 2002. Though I must admit there are much older friends but I just want you to know that I treasure

our old, old, old and life-long friendship very very much.

By the way, I just realized something. Guess what, this year is actually our 10th anniversary of knowing each other since... 2002? Yeah so now we have another memorable date haha

. The other date would be January 14; the night where we meet him personally hiak hiak hiak

. Anyway, my dear friend, I'll be looking forward for more memorable days to go crazy and crap shits with you. And more days where we test on each other limit; you know, you always test on my temper and patience! Talking with you requires a lot of maturity and PATIENCE and understanding. You never fail to make me angry, and yeah, this is bad. ;p

Please treat me nicer next time you bad ass

.

Last but not least, I just wanna notify you that I'm so gonna post this in my blog because it's been deserted for so long that I feel bad for not filling it up with something. Something meaningful like this. And since I have write a long long essay for you, so why not? ;) Just telling you, you cannot refuse. So my dear dear bff, see you soon.

KIT!

With Love.
The Author

I'm such a good friend ;)

Now who's next?

PHAIL

4/07/2012 08:05:00 PM

Eyes Open

3/20/2012 06:58:00 PM

I rarely open up. I don't pour words or speeches when people approaches me kindly and simply asks: "How are you?" In fact this question will likely get a "fine" or "good" from me and i promise you this, i don't really mean it. I just don't like to elaborate more if i answered it the other way round. I remember when i hang out with my friends, there's always this gossip-slash-caring-slash-updating-session where we fill in each other with our stories and what we did for the past few months and stuff, i A.L.W.A.Y.S dunno what to share. So at the end i'll ended up sharing my 'beautiful encounter(s)'. Nothing too personal; just enough to fill up their curiosity and my 'report'.

Even when my dad or mum or family calls me, I don't really know what to say. Sure, I'll tell them i'm fine here and after that I don't know what else is there for me to say. Most of the times, if there's nothing unusual happen i'll just keep quiet and wait for them to lead the conversation. And then i'll always be the one who says bye first. There is not much interesting or worth mentioning stuff that happens to me. Define "interesting" ugh. But what i really want to say is, I miss you so much. I wanna go home. I'm not feeling well. I wanna quit study. I wanna be by your side. I'm not ok.

Oh yeah, my family do this thing you see, they'll call me when they're having dinner and put the phone on speaker on the table. And i'll be on another continent, clutching the phone tightly beside my ear and use this cheerful tone that i'm so used to it now and listen. As if i'm there. As if i never left. As if i'm home...

Sometimes, I admire how my roommate can hold her conversation with her mum for 30 minutes and plus. She'll talk about her daily routine(boring), who she met, what she ate(really?), how she feels and even what she learns. And me? it's always within 10 minutes. Period. And it's always my dad who initiates the call. Once they didn't call me one night or something i'll be like Y U NO CALL ME. emo.

Someone once told me that I may look friendly and talkative and such, but i'm always on guard when it comes to intimate subjects. That person told me that no matter how long it took, there's been always a wall in between us. I shrug. This is the truth, this is who i am. I don't share, the end. To me, opening up is like ripping my clothes off and to be naked in front of a crowd. So. If you're lucky, you might caught me doing that one day or once in a red moon. But don't expect too much will you.

For your information, this lengthy essay is the fruit of listening to The Hunger Games: Songs from District 12 and Beyond in loop. Especially when you're a fan of Taylor and you keep replaying her latest track - Eyes Open for uncountable times. And especially when you have a mild sore throat and at the same time feeling weak and defeated. Oh well, great. Not fair.

I guess i'm afraid that if you open up, people might fall in and hurt themselves. Or the other way round. Maybe, everybody's waiting, for you to breakdown; everybody's watching, to see the fallout and even when you're sleeping. Sleeping, you need to keep your eyes open. But, the trick is, are you ready? Am I?

Yelps

2/28/2012 11:54:00 AM

Harlow! :) i have 30 minutes max to grumble so i'll try to do it fast here. I woke up at 9am and according to my schedule, i didn't really allocate time for blogging. But anyway. I love making excuse. So...

It's been a week and 4 days since i left Penang. And to be honest, I don't really have much time to be homesick in the beginning of this semester. Beep, sad case. First there's shhoo much outings and shopping for GROCERIES and other stuff that i don't wanna talk about that I keep spending money whenever I see my wallet around me. Grr. Well, at least this time I do keep track of the money I spent with an Excel file named Expenditure, and this is soo unlike last semester ahaha. Fyi so far the money I spent is nearly touching 400MYR! not bad huh :) Ok, next. The other on going thing that keeps me occupied 24/7 is my club activities and proposal. FML! (Fun and miserable life!) Meetings here and there, some embarrassment and rejection this and that, and I am still alive. I just wanna challenge myself, so no complain for these. So moving on.

yawns. sorry, i know it's very boring to listen to my nags and procrastination right. ok, i'll tone down a bit and try not to flame you the "fire of breakin' down". So folks, i know i am supposed to say something to cheer you up or make you think i am enjoying the time of my life. but sorrey. I just find these few weeks ahead dreary and busy and unimaginable. I don't even wanna think about it. Even Dream High 2 is getting shooo boring. What's wrong with the scriptwriter anyway, ugh. Coming back. Ok, good news is, I made a lot of Penang friends this semester! Whee. So happy to find my Penang gang in Miri as last year, I was the only Penangnite here. Aww, such a wonderful thing to see your kind flying over the sea just to be here with me. #Perasan Just kidding. Speaking of which, heyyy! I'm going to give my blog a face lift sooon. Soon as in, in 2 months time. Very soon right? This is an holy annual thing and i wanna make it special OMAIGAWD WHAT AM I TALKING ABOUT. anyway. this, needs to wait. Priority to my academics which have at least 2 deadlines every week fcuk. Seriously, I'm not complaining. I'm just toning down as promised. winks.

And oh see, 30 minutes is up! Yay!!! I'm really out of things to say anyway. So i'll update you guys next time, and I promised I'll give you something more entertaining. And keep the moaaaaning to myself. ok bye!