The aquarium fish is gone. In fact they are all gone since a few months ago and i didn't even notice that. And they are the little peacock fishes that my dad breed and feed. I remember sometimes, we will sit at the stair steps and admire them. How they can swim endlessly in circle around our little 24 inch long aquarium, trapped. And how sometimes we neglected them but dad will always remember to fed them and even clean the aquarium regularly. It has always been dad's work. And now. No more.

When my mum told me over the phone that the fishes died out of hunger and they are going to move the aquarium away, i swear i didn't cry but my eyes went all sore right away. The first thought that strikes is i don't want this change, the aquarium reminds me of my father so so much. I like the noise, the splashing sound from the aquarium. And those spectacular turbulence flow they created and even how my sister makes weird noises around the aquarium and literally play with the fishes for hours. And how my dad will lecture her on that habit and she still do it again the next day. I don't want to miss the feeling where you are all alone in the house but you know the fishes are with you. It's different.

Yet.

I realize how versatile life can be. One moment you have this and the next moment they are gone. How the group of friends changes and you might shift around like sand, wondering where you belong. Sometimes, looking at the ones you called as close friends moving on and having fun without you, you can't help but feel a pang of hurt. Th only thing you can do is shrug it off because you know you shouldn't feel that way. Being all 'carefree' and flexible and busy. Being all grown up. And you wall up. Yea. It rhymes.

So conclusion? Shucks. I'm just feeling not well tonight. I guess they shouldn't dispose the aquarium. It's making me very melancholy. And the song Amnesia by 5SOS. Now look at the essay and theory that i've came up with their decision. Oops indeed.

Good night.