" 一邊說無所謂 一邊卻淚流滿面
面具底下 我們都是自己的傀儡 "

We sometimes said never mind, but inside, our face is wet with tears.
All because we are fools under our mask.

韋禮安 & 面具

作詞：韋禮安
作曲：韋禮安

Because when you grow up, you wear different masks and facades as you go around. You never foreseen yourself as someone who smiles when she's heartwrecked; who hide away when complication strikes; who try to be okay when she is not ok; who wants to please the world even when she's broken inside. Someone who seeks perfection but she's not.

Because simply, you feel safe behind the mask. :)

YOU MIGHT THINK that you're really really reeeeally BUSY and out of breath at times. "yea, i'm very busy, no time sleep lah." or "i didn't sleep last night, too many things to do :(" or "i'm not going to bed tonight until i finish up my stuff " and the worst: "aiya, must complete this la, due tomorrow T^T "

Especially when you have countless of deadlines and responsibilities in your hands. and especially when your to-do-list drags for a page full and more and more and more. and not to mention after you have just thrown away a few major events that you organized for this year and you're finally sitting down to take your breath. and then you realized: finals is just 3 weeks away! so.

Seriously. it's all time management. so many "stuff" or "things" to do meh!? see, you're here, reading my senseless blog instead of doing your first thing on your to-do-list. perhaps if you have not went and scroll down endlessly in Facebook, or, if you have not took for granted a few minutes which become hours to read novels, perhaps then you might have cancelled out a page of to-do-list by now. so, my dear munster, at the end of the day, it all comes to time management.

Organize your stuff well. Manage your time properly. Then you'll find out that you're not that busy afterall ;)

and oh, this leads to sharing the songs that I play in loop for the past few days. and now. wink wink ;)


Drenched by 曲婉婷 ; Waiting for Superman by Daughtry ; 不哭了 by By2 ; 泡沫 by 邓紫棋 ;  孤獨是一種安全感 by 杨丞琳

Before i get busy. a mini promise to myself: i shall not say something like this anymore -

"i'll sleep early and wake up early tomorrow to complete my stuffs"

Never happen. too busy making excuses.

PLEASE DON'T. MEAN IT WHEN YOU SAY IT K.

#kthxbye

 惆怅，因为突然觉得自己真的老了。再过一个月，就二十岁。

“帶著你的根本，不管哪裡。都可以再次花開。”  ——熟女手册

《我可能不会喜欢你》，一个很文艺很不像偶像剧的偶像剧。这故事讲述了女主，程又青在30的关卡如何不停的错过和怎样这般那般地领悟到自己是多么的迟钝。讲述了，那个一直闷骚地爱着程又青的李大仁如何被虐了一番然后获得美人归。讲述了，岁月不饶人——年轻时想旅行，有时间没钱没本事；后来做工了有能力了，却发现申请个十天假，是多么的难。这部剧也同时让我看到家人时常在你的身边，一起吵，一起闹，一起度过难关。长辈的话，虽然逆耳但往往‘一语惊人’。

“一个家，一定要有一个唱歌的，旁边的人都在帮他伴奏。
幸福美满的婚姻，不是让出来的，而是要从内心里面发出来的接受。
所以结婚之前要想清楚的，不是你有多爱那个人，
而是要想清楚说，你跟那个人以后的日子会长成什么样子。”

程又青，你真幸运。你有李大仁。

  花了一天十二个小时，一口气把整部剧看完，因为题材佳、演员帅、衣饰美、原声带太好听、时间多。我承认我有点out毕竟此剧是去年热播的，当时还想说台湾偶像剧近来老套又闷，当时都只看韩剧呵呵，可惜。现在，很庆幸我没错过这段细水长流的爱情。

“越来越不想改变，已经习惯的习惯。”——初老症症状

最后，第二男猪——王阳明。其实，他很帅、但很坏。不管是，故事中、现实中、娱乐圈中。但这不是重点。重点是，我终于可以如愿贴出一张帅哥放在这儿了。

From Top to Bottom: 1. Tea and To-Do List and JI; 2. My friend's Elmo Bday Cake, super jealo of him; 3. My tangled mess.

Since it's study week, i'm supposed to be studying, obviously. But, just to share. I've started drawing on my sketchbook again. I mean doodling la. Usually i'll draw so much on my notes, textbooks or any blank space that needs beautification until no paper on earth walks away clean. That's normal rate. And 99% of them will end up erased by the author, me. B'cause it's not drawn on a proper medium bha. So, I'll draw even more when i'm studying, or, practically whenever i'm trying to concentrate on my revision. So for the past few days, I've been stuck in this endless cycle of unconsciously flipping my sketch book open and. Start. Drawing. Ugh.



These are 0.02% of what i'd drawn so far. Please don't ask me why I don't draw guys. It's really really reaaaalley a sad case :'( And haha! I just realized there ain't no hot guy to share in this post. Just Elmo and JI and my girls. Next time next time.

Songs of the Week. I'm so outdated, wonder if they're the latest. Meh, not that it matters.

1. The Fighters by Gym Class Heroes ft. Ryan Tedder
2. Dark Side by Kelly Clarkson
3. Wide Awake by Katy Perry
4. Glad You Came by The Wanted
5. Blown Away by Carrie Underwood
6. Shake That by Metro Station
7. Burn it Down by Linkin Park
8. Payphone by Maroon 5 ft. Whiz Khalifa
9. Starships cover by Madilyn Bailey (Check her out! - link)
10. Kiss Me by The Fray
11. Baby Steps by Varsity (English Ver) / SNSD - TTS (Korean Ver) 
12. Speed Up by KARA
13. Where Have You Been by Rihanna

And the study anthem song: What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Stronger by Kelly Clarkson.

End up singing along anyway. Major distraction. And i'm also blaming the mirror which is installed perpendicularly to my study table. And those up-beat songs, they seriously made me leave my chair and dance in the middle of the room. And my roomate, oh well, she'll give me that face when the dance routine happens. In fact, she even joins in! Err, sometimes. And the online novels and internet. I'm gonna block all of you. Quite successful - I've actually enveloped my lappie into the notebook sleeve and locked it away in the drawer until the clock strikes 12 midnight. Like now. So yeah. And the long hair, i'm so fascinated by its shininess and smoothness and volume and smell. Keep holding their ends and examining non-stop. Time to chop it off. A promise to myself. >:(

1.07am. Self-disciplinary action - i'm crushing to bed now, lately just can't let myself to sleep, might be too stressed, for nothing ugh. And oh, Diablo 3!!! We are so close yet so far. I'll play you one day. Good night.

“…you feel a little bit lost right now about what to do with your life, a bit rudderless and oarless and aimless but that’s okay that’s alright because we’re all meant to be like that at twenty-four.”

—	David Nicholls (One Day)

The trick of it, she told herself, is to be courageous and bold and make a difference. Not change the world exactly, just the bit around you. Go out there with your double-first, your passion and your new Smith Corona electric typewriter and work hard at… something. Change lives through art maybe. Write beautifully. Cherish your friends, stay true to your principles, live passionately and fully and well. Experience new things. Love and be loved if at all possible. Eat sensibly. Stuff like that."  — Emma Morley

And oh oh oh! Thanks to the perfect casting, I got to know this sexy angel, Jim Sturgess. I know, a very new name right? I don't know him either, not before watching the movie anyway. Okay where was I, oh, ahem. I'll try to sound mature and sensible this time for this gorgeous guy sake so. He is charming and cute and devilish and nerdy and an actor! He's the perfect Dex, I mean he's exactly the same as I imagined him to be when I was reading the book. Great imagination i know i know. But err, that probably is because I saw him in the posters or somewhere from the web before hand. Probably.


“You know what I can’t understand? You have all these people telling you all the time how great you are, smart and funny and talented and all that, I mean endlessly, I’ve been telling you for years. So why don’t you believe it? Why do you think people say that stuff? Do you think it’s a conspiracy, people secretly ganging up to be nice about you?” — Dexter Mayhew


Dex and Em. Em and Dex. I will learn from your mistakes. Goodbye.

Right on! The boys are coming back for a PLAY concert in Genting Arena of Star Stadium Negara to be precise. and i'm trying to pretend to stay calm, but inside.

Now Playing: 

Dare You to Move, cover by Taylor Swift and Jayesslee; originally performed by Switchfoot

Now Revision-ing: 

Chemistry Notebook

Now Drinking: 

Vitagen (Pineapple Yoghurt Drink)

Now Planning: 

Packing soon and i'm coming home!

This post is more like a mark for me saying: geesh, it's been ten years?! WTDuuuttt!


Fyi, S.H.E is formed on 11th September 2001 and and in this month it's like their epic awesomeness achievement as on 11th September 2011, it's their 10th anniversary. I mean come on, give me any example of girl group that last throughout the years. there might be a few but a group that still stand strong and unify and popular after ten years? NONE. Their wifeyship has always show me true friendship and more. They are irreplaceable.

That's why S.H.E is the One. The one i'm gonna support for the next 10 years and next 10 years and so on.  And i don't even know where to start talking about my love for them. i remember falling in love on these young girls since...when again? Oh, primary school standard 4, which is year 2002 whew! and look at them nahw, they are mature ladies right now. ok, you can look at me too, cause i'm also the existing proof of the 10 years time. Me, from a naive fan girl who buys pirated CDs to a umm, still a fan girl who buys real album to support them ever since she knows what is pirated version, yikes. My point is, they are really worth my time and i never regret a teeney weeny bit at all for knowing and fangirling over them for this past 9 years. and more.


(The below is classified under video spam.)
Anyway.There's been loads of fantastic MVs and k-pop performance i wanted to share for awhile now. So, relax and chew in these video's awesomeness ;) and oh, not all of them are S.H.E related so chill :P

the last 9 days went with breakneck pace. because, it's july. oh crap how is it already july!? i'm leaving so so soon and yet i still haven't start packing. it's not like i'm avoiding you know but sometimes you just need the right time, the right mood and the right day to start moving your ass. plus, i have little time to spend properly since the lappie and recently City Hunter(drama alert!) are always the distraction. mehh. And, megasale is going on everywhere in town so practically i'm out there nearly everyday: a victim. And, i need to allocate some time for bonding right? in a nutshell, dammit i'm so busy.

right, now i feel good after making excuses. yay! let's be understanding shall we? let's just assume i'm not ready to leave penang just yet. yup, relevant and realistic. though, i would feel totally better if baby munster can stop yelling in my head. i mean why would she want to miss the chance to say 'i told you so' when the moment comes right?

since i did mentioned about City Hunter, might as well continue on. hehe. ok ok, it was preplanned. anyway. This K-drama is awesome! it's surprisingly nice, though i must say that the story is kinda loose and illogical but oh well, it's a fiction after all so never mind. right, i guess you've figured out how this drama attracts me, but just to be sure, yea, because of the presence of lengzais and lengluis ;) there. heheh. but, i shall not share Lee Minho's photos here (in order to maintain my reputation wth). Go google ;) in fact, i'm gonna share lenglui picture this time. oh yea! 


ok that's all.

Oh yeah before it wipes off from my mind, i was reading the late June issue of Galaxie magazine and i was so fumed up by one of their article. ok, before i start, let me state this, i'm not a pervert. i just like pwetty pwetty things so chillax :) back to the topic, so they have this article call 'Turning up the heat' for which they arrange male starlets according to their sexiness...ahem i mean physique hotness. and OMGAAGA, they actually put Ryan Reynolds aka Mr. Green Lantern in front of Chris Evans(Captain A)! this is so awkward because come on, its common sense that Captain A is so much steamier than Green Lantern ok. look.
sorry, i rip that from the net, anyway. the point is, i respect their standing and all, but gashhh it just so pissed. me. off. Look at the picture, both are extremely hot i'm not gonna deny that, but, BUT yeah can people please give Chris Evans some justice :(

moving on, my second try out for contact lens is a major failure again :( whyyyyyyyyyyyyy! can you please be less sensitive and more bravie, eyes, because i'm suffering minor humiliation. as in, my sis CAN wear them but not meeeeee :'( and my family is like bringing it up all the time since then. so unfair! i also don't want to blink my eyes you know. i also want to be brave enough to touch my eyes you know. which is the black part of the eyes you know! boohoo. out of the point, when i was trying on the lenses for more than 2 hours, the optician kept complimenting me for having looong eye lashes. omgeee i feel so so happy and slightly proud, because, nobody ever told me that before. therefore, i automatically ignore the rest of her comments like "your eyes are big, why can't you wear that?" and "see, your sis also can wear leee, why you cannot?" and so on. yeah, she's so patient and kind i know i know. believe me, i'm really not trying to be sarcastic.

from now on i'll practice wearing them, starting from this minute. ok, maybe later as i'm still typing here. anyway. bring it on! 

eyy. sorta running out of words by now. and movie marathon is calling me. haha. so, bye! i'll pack later. after the movies. brouhaha.

and just in case you're wondering why am i so free, for which i intentionally bold the sentence on the 1st line on top, the reasons are:
1.  everybody is busy with school.
2. grads like me are starting their new semester, though i'm still on the same spot.
3. i haven't start hunting job yet. in process. soon.
4. i'm jobless.

ok, i can't think of anything else right now, so that's it for my essay of reasons. sorry, i just can't help it.

since i've mentioned half, might as well spill everything out. so, i'll sacrifice a little and share what i do at home. here's my edited edition of virtual daily journal, for which it doesn't comes in a journal format at all.

Any Weekdays, pick one
1200 - wake up, change, and sit in front of the computer/tv.
1400 - sis and dad come back from school, have oat meal brunch (because they forget to 'tapao' for me).
1430 - sit in front of the computer/tv.
1800 - helping in the kitchen.
1930 - dinner then sit in front of computer/tv.
2200 - lying on top of the bed, in front of laptop.
unknown - time varies. go to sleep.

interesting right? i know.

okay, so i'm officially leaving behind the dark and MATURE aura that had been lurking around since the last 2 posts. of course this is not normal at all. but i just can't help it at that time. anyway, i just realized that some of you are like, suddenly very worry about me, which made me worry along too. puhlease, again, i'm alright. still breathing and smiling. and very touched.


confessions that make you feel agreeable with me instantly.
did you realize how often i use 'so' sooooo much that it hurts not to start a sentence with 'so'?
oh and also the word 'anyway'. and 'ok/okay'.
and the word 'i know'. and 'and'.
and, how annoying it is for me to NOT use caps when i am starting a sentence.
and, how indigestible most of the contents are.
and not forgetting the way they don't carry sense all the time.

Sorry, i just can't help it.


so here's a new fact i've discovered. hoorah!
i'm a prodigy in delaying and avoiding some particular subjects.
who says i'm not sensitive?!
fine, they are unrelated at all. Just saying.

anyway, i've been wanting to intro this amazing author since i'm so helpless over her enchanting story thanks to Monday ;)
jeng jeng jeng jeng!
Sarah Beth Durst, author of Ice.
i think the following is the-so-called book review.
ok, i admit i'm a cover judge but hey, the story inside does give the cover justice after all. Though, i find the story quite extraordinary. Like, the protagonist, Cassie is 18 year old and pregnant because of the Polar Bear King. And the fact that she can travel from north to the world end in order to save her husband aka Polar Bear King when she is pregnant. A young woman marries a talking bear to be precise. (of course i'm not complaining am i? sorry i just can't help it.) beside all these, i'll say the book is simply magical and breathtaking. Sarah Beth Durst did a great job. She captures the scenes and characters vividly such that i thought i've been there. This may be her 1st book i read but i know there will be more because i just can't help but fall in love with her brilliant adventures. thumbs up!

btw, the moon is so beautiful tonight. it's a full moon. suddenly i just feel like singing though, my sis is snoring beside my bed. but, sorry, i just can't help it.

good night. of course i didn't sing at 2.15am.
this is silly. did i mention that i just can't help it?

1.  T.H.E Alarm
2. a call early in the morning (as in 11:14am this morning)
3.  and sometimes the dream would just drift away from the main plot and become something hilarious. Then i'll wake up. No i'm not going to share.

this guy here, Mr Lee Joon from MBLAQ, he likes flashing his abs so i'm just doing him a big favour. Seriously. *cringe*


Told you i'm random.