Taken in Miri Esplanade Beach @ 19/5

Before i start writing this post, i actually browsed through all the photos taken so far in this month. If you're curious about the quantity, it's 967 and no this is not a random number. I even used a calculator to get the number right. Haha vain. Anyway. the past weekends might just be an ordinary one (ordinary = assignments and quizzes and wasting time) if i didn't sign up for this AIESEC LDS seminar - a conference between UKM and Curtin students. Games, talks, lectures, persuasion, dances and new friends. Three days and it changes my perception in life. It made me reflect on what i am today.

What I lack of? Confidence. I always tend to avoid eye contact whenever i'm speaking to a crowd. I'll be that girl who will stare at the ceiling and rap whatever blabbering stuff she's supposed to. And then hurriedly she'll bow and run away from the spotlight. She can't even get her head clear when she's facing the crowd; every sentence and word are scattered and disorganized, and believe me, it's unbearable.

So, there is this sharing session where people volunteer to go up the stage and umm, practically, share. 1, 2, 3, 4... 9. The outspoken one, the hyper girl, the lyke-a-boss brother, the loud feilou, the chio girl. One by one they share what they've learn in the conference and finally they are telling me, this is your last chance. You opportunity. Your platform. I took a deep breath and raised my hand high in a speed of light. I think i even closed my eyes. And sprained my arm. But anyway, turns out, i am the last person going up there and talk.

Why i am sharing this is because i wanna tell you that with this simple act, I have gain the courage to change. Change but be the same you. I was hesitant at first, but seeing sooo many people have done that, i am like, why not? All these time, how narrow minded i am for thinking that i simply don't like being the center of attention and so i avoid stages and refuse to stand up and voice out. I was rather judgmental for also thinking those who opt for the limelight are attention seeker. Ironically, I also take them as the bravado for their humongous guts. I am wrong.

You have enemies? Good. That means you've stood up for something in your life.

Winston Churchill (1874 - 1965)

It takes a lot of effort and guts to be the first one to stand up. That person is the leader. But the leader needs to be easy to follow and must not back down in whatever circumstances. Then there will be the first follower. The first follower leads the second and the second leads the third. Without you realizing, everybody is in fact, the leader. It might be awkward at first, being the 'weirdo' and doing something people are not, but once everybody joins in, it won't be. The key is don't ever change yourself to fit in. Be you.

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Never underestimate yourself. Your will is your strongest weapon.