The water is rough

Note: I do not expect you to understand the following. It's something more for myself. It is a piece of hmm..metaphoric story that mad...

Note:
I do not expect you to understand the following. It's something more for myself. It is a piece of hmm..metaphoric story that made me stayed up half a night to pour out whats been in my mind. today, i mean yesterday was rough. Let's just say thing aren't going according to plans anymore. It's chaos right now. No, no lectures from my lovely parents, they only expressed their ceaseless support and faith in me, to whom i'd let them down. No, i did not slack. it may sound unconvincing but i really really really put in all my effort this time.

Sigh. i guess i reaally messed up. So, like i was saying, the FICTION below is just a hunch. Don't take this over seriously, ok? It's just to let you know.

 sorry. i just can't get over it so fast although i tried to. Don't worry, i'm alright :)


**************

Once upon a time, there existed an old kingdom in a realm where peace and order rules. The kingdom was rich and the people lived contently under the guide of the wise king and the amiable queen. However, the king locked up a little girl in the castle ever since she was born for fear that she might get hurt. Thus, the little girl was restricted to stay in the castle compound only. The castle fence outside her chamber was 9 inches tall. The chamber was guarded day and night. The guards would follow her around everyday... The castle was the only place she knew of, but she was happy with her own little world. She sang to the plants in the garden at day and danced to the dolls in her chamber at night. She thought that was where she belong back then.

Nothing last forever. The simple and innocent life did not.

The little girl grew up day by day and she thirst for more. Finally the king gave her what she thought she always wanted; a choice for her future. And so, the girl drafted her grand dream of life in excitement. But, before she could solidify her dream, she needs to pass a few tests to prove herself. The test of self-discipline. Of hard work. Of patience. The girl took the challenge, seeing it as a doorway to her dream. The king stood back while the queen watched at her princess wearily.

Years passed.

The girl has grown to become a veteran in the unending tests. She may not be the best among others, but she was definitely above-average. Or at least she thought. Influences came. Slowly, she lost herself along the endless path towards her dream. She became what she once despised to be. She continue to forge ahead, ignoring the warnings and hints from her surrounding; she had everything under control. She was sure that the effort she invested in was still the same as before. This she was absolutely certain. Yet one day, disaster fell upon her. The outcome which she dreaded the most.

It was unbelievable. And unconvincing. But it had became a fact. She should have known.

The girl was devastated. She shut her eyes in hope that perhaps, perhaps this could shut the world out or perhaps, perhaps she would wake up in any moment soon. Nothing happened. She was still standing shakily in cold darkness across the crowd and the disaster; this couldn't be happening, could it? The cold wind cruelly penetrated into her bare wobbly legs. In an instance, strength ran out from her legs and she fell on her knees, hands clapped over her mouth to stop her whimpering. The crowd in the square was cheering for the victorious. Confetti was all over the place. For now, it was all over. Some smirked under their cool. Some shrugged their shoulder with a disengaged look. Some were trying to hide their quiet joy. But all these were visible to the sensitive girl under the sycamore tree. She held on to her blue dress tightly like a shipwrecked man holding on to a piece of log in the sea. Her eyes spoke of regret, disappointment, shame and confusion. I guess I'm not meant for this path after all. Where would I go from here?

Her walls crumbled to dust. Where is she going from here? This is a nightmare. When would all this end? All that she know is she don't know how to be something she's not anymore. Who is she? She never imagine it'll end like this. Not like this.

Just then a stunning woman stepped out and started to sing a song.
what you're gonna do when the show is over?
what you're gonna sing when the song ends?
how you'Re gonna copE when there iS no closure?
where yoU're gonna reach when the goaL geTs higher?
how you're gonna make It through?
when you think you loSt the chance...

Play on when yOu're losing the game.
play on 'cause you're gOnna make mistakes.
it's always worth to sacrifice,
even when you think you're wRong.
so play on.
(Carrie Underwood's Play On)

The song hits a chord in the girl's heart. A spark flickered in the girl's eyes; this was the spirit she had been wearing in her sleeves since a long long time ago. But she forgot. Trails of tears were running down her face; she understood now. She cried silently as she walked back to her chamber, full of thoughts. The king and queen were walking down the aisle. Acknowledging that,  she quickly wiped away her tears, hoping vainly that her eyes won't be swollen so that she would not startled her parents. She did not want them to comfort her; no. She clenched her fist. This would only make things worse. She knew they would not bash her with painful words; they will not. But she was not ready to face them. She was a let down. A failure. Just let her fade away into nonexistence. The wolves howled in unison far away. The girl angled her face down and let her hair veiled her face away from the king and queen's concerned gaze. The castle light trembled and faded in a blink. The moonlight illuminated the girl's pale face.

The king and queen hug her instead. They did not spoke a word. Tears welled up again. That night, the king saved her and the queen kept her together.

When the morning light came streaming in, The girl got up and disappeared. The ship bearing her dream sailed out of sight in correspond. She hopes the sun shine and it is a beautiful day.

With hearts,
the girl praying the floor won't fell through again

**************


I feel okay. but i just can't help but cry*sigh*.
(yes it's so baad that i need to *sigh*wtf)
Just to *sigh* alone. It kind of serves as a closure.
But one thing for sure, this won't ever escape my mind.
how my effort is spilled into the pacific ocean.
and how expensive the cost of the spillage is.
it'll hover over me forever.

For now.
It's all finished.
Everything is over.
There's no turning back.
Though i'm clear that turning back won't change anything.
But you know what?
I'll just play on.
So bring it on!

PS: you know, taylor swift's song can make people feels emotional and wants to fight dragons at the same time.

pps: in the downhill temporarily. soon, i'll be shining like fireworks over this sad empty story. (though i seriously doubt that)

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